Wednesday, November 19, 2014

This is how we do it

I was thinking the other day that I haven't done a post just about Qatar in a long while.  I mean, clearly I write "about" living in Qatar all the time, but I don't write a whole lot about the country or the terrain or the culture or the language or the people specifically.  And I think it's probably time that I explain why that is.

Because there is a reason, you see.  More than at any other time in my life, at this time, in this place, I am learning to be careful.  Careful about what I say, careful about what I write, careful about how I dress, careful about where I go, careful, careful, careful.  I am careful not to offend, careful not to disrupt, careful not to speak or write or do anything without thinking.  In many ways, I live a filtered life, and so this blog is filtered, as well, no matter how much I might wish it not to be.  It's partially one of the trade-offs I have made to have a public blog, one that my casual readers can read once in a while if they feel like it, instead of a private, invite-only blog.  But it's also partially a reflection of expat life in Qatar.

We are guests here.  We know this.  We are reminded of this daily.  Every day, we encounter situations or people or subtle signs that remind us of our status as guests.  And we don't want to put our hosts out if at all possible, nor do we want to be put out ourselves (as in, put out of the country).  So we are respectful, tolerant, considerate, and, above all else, careful.

For example, when we had our church Halloween party last month, we were reminded not to come in costumes so scary they would upset our neighbors.  (One young girl did come as a weeping angel, which was pretty dang scary and TOTALLY AWESOME, but until she put on the mask inside, she just looked like a regular angel, and I am willing to bet not many of our neighbors are big Doctor Who fans anyway!)  In fact, we maintain such a low profile at church we don't even have printed programs on Sundays so we don't leave an unnecessary and possibly ill-advised paper trail.  We're that careful.

Recently, we got a warning from the US State Department telling us about some specific but anonymous threats placed on websites against American teachers in some Middle Eastern countries (Qatar was not specifically mentioned).  We were advised to avoid crowds or large gatherings when traveling in public, know where we were going and have a plan in case we encountered violence or demonstrations, tell co-workers or neighbors where we were going and when we would return, and have embassy numbers programmed into our phones, among other similar instructions.  The funny thing is, we are already taking all of these precautions and more, just as a part of our daily life here, because we are always being careful.  It's what you do.

At the same time, we still feel very safe here.  I'm certain that the minute we stopped feeling safe, we would be on the next plane home, but for now, the only real dangers we face involve the crazy drivers on the roads.  And we're happy, despite our everyday caution.  I, for one, have probably benefited from these new lessons in how to be circumspect!  I know my children are learning much more about modesty and cultural tolerance and social appropriateness by osmosis than they ever would have in your everyday American elementary school.  My six year old recently explained to me that he thought his shorts were getting too short "because Mommy, in this country, we like to cover up a bit more than this."  You can't buy an education like that!  And I think it behooves us all to learn how to be respectful in public at all times, public respect being a commodity that is sometimes in short supply elsewhere. 

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