Christmas Activity Advent Week #2

I was awful at taking pictures this week, even worse than normal, so the photographic evidence of what we did is minimal, at best.  But we still had fun, pictures be darned!

One day this week we sorted through the boys' toys to find some to donate to the church nursery, in anticipation of the new toys Santa would bring.  We do this every year (though last year we did a much bigger purge earlier on because we were trying to sort/pack/sell EVERYTHING) as a seasonal service activity.  The boys did great: J was very efficient and stayed on task, while E really just wanted to play with the "new" toys he rediscovered along the way!  The rule is that we say "keep or go" about every item and if one boy says go, the other has to agree or it stays.  E wanted to keep everything, not because he is particularly attached to too many things, but because he didn't want to have to look up from playing long enough to say go.  Surprisingly, given his hoarder-in-training tendencies, J wanted to get rid of lots of things; he was a decluttering maniac!  After all our sorting, we ended up with two whole bags of toys in great condition to donate and a half a bag of thrashed/broken toys we simply threw away.  Pretty good work, if I do say so!

Here we are post-sorting and still smiling!

We attended the Doha Singers, Doha Orchestra, and Doha Youth Singers concert as well this week, which was very festive, if a bit haphazard (we went to the early show, which one of the singers we know later referred to as "our dress rehearsal"--apparently they got some of the kinks worked out for the evening show!).  They boys really liked the concert, though it was quite long and the orchestra, the least interactive section, was last, so they had a hard time staying interested at the end.  But the singing was fun, and made even more exciting by the realization that their music teacher from school is the choir director and E's teacher from last year is in the Doha Singers (who knew?).  I think we will definitely go back every year if we can.

The other highlight of the week was our visit to the singing sand dunes.  These dunes outside Doha are HIGH and really fun to slide down, though a beast to hike up.  Playing on them feels like you are playing in water, really, which is an odd sensation.  And, of course, as I found out when one ran across my hand, you may run into the occasional skink!  The boys LOVED the dunes, even if it wasn't really windy enough to hear them "sing."  We also had a church party at the base of the dunes, a potluck with a little nativity put on by the kids, so I whipped up some no-sew shepherd costumes for the boys and two friends in the morning before we left.  The costumes turned out great, I think, though I'm not sure how we ended up with such patriotic shepherds in red, white, and blue!  J picked the colors; he had very definite ideas about how he wanted to look; what can I say?

On their way up and down the dune simultaneously.

A blurry pic of everyone we came with, but
I wanted to show how high the dune was.

All dressed up as shepherds!

Getting ready for the (about to be) HUGE bonfire.

Ready for their close-ups!

Cutest shepherds ever!

And this would have been such a great
picture if it had been in focus and J hadn't been
chewing on licorice, darn it!

Tripping

For basically the whole of our marriage, the husband has been taking regular trips.  In the beginning, they were for school events or student conferences, then for resident events and conferences, and then  later for all sorts of business presentations, lectures, conferences, training, and recruitment.  Since about the time we had J, these trips have taken place on average once a month for a weekend or so.  Now, many years on, they still take place about once a month, but because (almost) every trip from here is a major endeavor and you need time to recover if you are going to hope to be successful at whatever it is that you are trying to do, the trips usually last a week or more.  In December, the husband was gone almost two weeks, then another at the end of January, then one some time in February I think, then three whole weeks of training in March, then another in April or May...and on and on.  You get the idea!  In short, the husband travels.  A LOT.

Don't get me wrong: I like that the husband gets to make presentations at conferences and be on industry committees and interview people who might want to move to the Middle East.  Every trip is good for his career and, therefore, good for us, sometimes in immediate, practical ways.  For example, now that we are living in Qatar, as I think I have mentioned before, one lovely side effect of these trips is that whenever he goes to the States, I can send a shopping list with him and he returns with all sorts of useful things for us, like children's Tylenol and printer ink cartridges.  If necessary, I can also send an Amazon order to his hotel if we need something else that we just can't find here (which still happens more frequently than we would like) so we can avoid the exorbitant shipping prices and quixotic mail system here.

And for the first few days that he is gone, to be completely honest, we really don't notice.  The boys and I go about our business, eating breakfast for dinner if we feel like it (the husband really does not enjoy pancakes in the evenings), staying out a bit later after school or heading to a friend's house for a late play date or leaving to run an errand in the late afternoon when we would otherwise be waiting for Daddy to arrive.  In fact, I like to mix the schedule up a bit so they don't really notice that Daddy isn't around, and my ploy usually works...for a time.  In the past, right about the time we were all getting tired of each other, the husband would return with surprises and distraction and we would quickly revert back to our normal routines.

But these new (and improved?) longer trips are really taking it out of me.  Granted, the kids are both in school during the day, so I can still get errands run and groceries bought and gas tanks filled without them, which is great.  However, when they get home, there is no evening buffer between us and my patience runs thin (never very thick to begin with, honestly) and they start to get crankier and crankier and bedtime starts creeping earlier and earlier because we all just can't take it any more!  This December trip there was lots for us to do, between invented advent activities and real National Day celebrations and unexpected trips to the hospital, but even so, we were all a bit beleaguered when the husband flew back in 13 days later.   He doesn't like being gone that long either, though I think his struggles are somewhat different from ours.  Somehow, however, we all need to find our zen about these trips.  I mean, it could be worse, right?  He could be a pilot or an ER doctor or in the military or any one of dozens of other professions that require frequent absences (though who knew pharmacist was going to end up being such a fast-paced career?).  Those families adjust, and we need to learn how to adjust, too, right?  RIGHT??  Now, if we only could figure out how....

Happy Qatar National Day!

One of the largest flags I've ever seen, hanging outside my favorite grocery store!

December 18th is a very big (HUGE!) day for Qataris and a big celebration for everyone living here as well.  As the official Qatar National Day website (in English) explains,

"Every December 18th, we celebrate our National Day in commemoration of the historic day in 1878 when Shaikh Jasim, the founder of the State of Qatar, succeeded his father, Shaikh Muhammad Bin Thani, as the ruler and led the country toward unity. This national occasion emphasizes our identity and history, embodies the ideals and visionary aspirations that this country was founded on, and pays homage to the great men and women who participated in building our nation. December 18th is the day we remember how our national unity was achieved and how we became a distinct, and respected nation out of a society torn apart by conflicting tribal loyalties, devoid of security and order, and overrun by invaders.

National Day is a glorious occasion on which we convey our deepest expressions of affection and gratitude to the people of Qatar who cooperated in solidarity and vowed sincere allegiance and obedience to Shaikh Jasim Bin Muhammad Bin Thani, trusting him as a father, brother, leader, and Imam. In him they found a man who had already distinguished himself in his youth as a pious, brave, self-sacrificing, and wise leader. He was keen on unifying the Qatari Peninsula and safeguarding the interests of its people in the darkest of times ever witnessed by this part of the world."

But really, Qatar National Day is like the 4th of July...in the capital...at the White House...on steroids...for two weeks.  Celebrations have been going on for days and will continue long after today, though the height of activities happens today.  Festivities include nightly fireworks in two locations for two weeks, an enormous parade featuring Qatari school children and all branches of the military, fly-over demonstrations, parachutes with flags, and sea escapades by military personnel, an entire state fairground-esque area dedicated to exploring elements of traditional Qatari culture such as falconry, maritime pursuits, animal husbandry, and food, a boat show, an antique car parade, an official horse race, rifle demonstrations, and tons of kids' activities.  In short, it's a national party!

We attended the fairgrounds in the days leading up to QND and were amazed by all we saw: herds of oryxes, loads of free swag, impressive displays on traditional tribal life, amazing food offerings, and, of course, fireworks!  Yes, the crowds were insane and it took us forever to leave, but it was a fun afternoon nonetheless, and you really can't help but want to be part of the party!

J playing doctor at one of the stations...

and with toys at another...

where E was being helped to make something
with gears (parents were not allowed in).

Watching the oryxes.

The camels started out nice and far away...

until suddenly they were chasing us off the sidewalk.
Quick, run away, MERS!

The boys with their swag, which included, among other things,
backpacks, hats, scarves, flag, sunglasses, earrings, cuff links,
temporary tatoos, colored pencils, a light wand...the list
goes on and on!  Qatar LOVES swag!

A national day sculpture in the middle of a mall, celebrating
dhows, pearl diving, date palms...

...oryxes, and falcons.

The kids were told to come to school in traditional dress or Qatari colors yesterday, and even though they attend a school whose colors are already burgundy and white, meaning their regular uniforms would have been totally appropriate, we decided to find them some other garb to wear as well.  Apparently, we were behind the eight ball on this a bit, since many people contract out well in advance to have their children's costumes custom-made at the souqs, but we still managed to find something festive.  I even wore a shirt in Qatari flag colors, burgandy and white, and was told by a Qatari mom at school "I appreciate your t-shirt. Thank you for wearing it."  Umm, okay!  Never let it be said we don't embrace local traditions!

Christmas Activity Advent Week #1

Our first week of advent activities was a (qualified) success.

We decorated the tree...with only one major bout of yelling!  Yay us!  I am really glad we shipped our Christmas decorations over in our container.  Just pulling them out of the bins made me happy, and the boys loved rediscovering their favorites.  The faux tree the husband got for us last year looks positively festive this time around, festooned with all our familiar ornaments.  My tabletop tree collection is decorating a coffee table in a corner instead of the top shelf of a book case or a mantle, but they look like a little red, green, and sparkly forest, which I kind of like.  And, for ONCE, our ridiculous red curtains actually look like they belong!  Hooray!

We made Christmas cookies, gingerbread and sugar cut outs.  The gingerbread was SUPERB, if I do say so myself--I finally found an easy and tasty recipe after my time-consuming attempt at Martha Stewart's gigantic and complicated recipe a few years ago.  The sugar cookie recipe was a short-cut involving a cake mix, but it really didn't turn out too well--all the little men we cut out looked like they were obese when we got them out of the oven!  However, the boys made some perfectly awful looking iced monstrosities out of the gingerbread cookies, and they had fun doing it, which was the whole point!  They also got ended up with a bit of a sugar high, but oh well, it's the holidays!

Deep in the midst of decorating, well on the way to a super sugar high!

You can just see our tree in the background as
J moves on to the eating part of the program

On another day, we put up our two main nativity sets.  When I was growing up, we always put my Dad's nativity set on top of the piano, an old set with painted figures and animals made out of paper mache and ceramics.  The original set we had, which I think was probably a combination of two or three different sets, included lots of animals, donkeys, cows, camels, dogs, sheep, etc., and we all loved rearranging the animals, much to my father's chagrin.  At some point, and I don't even remember when this started, we began adding animals to the menagerie when we found some that were the same size.  One year a sea turtle, the next year a pot-bellied pig, the year after that a platypus.  Don't you think all the animals would have wanted to see the birth of the Savior?  Of course, we may have moved from the sublime to the ridiculous over the years; last year I gave my dad a Qatari man in a thobe to add to the watchers, and the set now contains a cerberus and a unicorn, I think!

One year, I tried to find similar sets for all my siblings and me, at least starter sets with the basic figures and animals, which resulted in quite a long search and buying spree on Ebay.  Since then, we have added additional animals to ours, of course, so now we have a gorilla, a tiger, a meerkat, a panda and baby, and a chicken, among others.  The boys know that they are allowed to play with the more exotic (and indestructible) animals in front if they leave the more fragile animals and figures in the back alone.  So far, this system has worked pretty well, but, just in case, my mother-in-law helpfully gave us the complete Fisher Price Little People nativity set when J was little, so we also put that one out and let the kids have free reign with it, which makes everyone happy!

The Little People palms trees also make great crowns!

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Speaking of gingerbread, we were supposed to go to the Marriott for a gingerbread house making session,  (I could only handle one day of decorating mess in my own house, so I tried to outsource the houses!), but instead I ended up in the ER that day.  Ooops!  We did have a good morning before all that went down, at least, but I'm trying to reschedule gingerbread houses for later in the month, or I will be forced to use our Ikea gingerbread house kits and whatever decorations we have on hand, which are not many.  We'll see how that all turns out in the end!

Before we went on with the rest of our ill-fated day,
we had breakfast at Jones the Grocer.

E ate the entire plate of the traditional English breakfast,
which includes two eggs, sautéed mushrooms and spinach,
baked beans, chicken sausage, sourdough toast, and a
slow cooked tomato.  He loved it all, especially the beans and mushrooms!

And finally, our first week of activities also included a movie night in which we courageously
 braved Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and got through the whole movie for the first time ever!  The abominable snowman did not dominate us for once--progress!

"No, Mommy, we aren't scared at all."

Post movie night selfie!

  

Ruptured but not lost

This past weekend I ended up in the ER.  Everything is fine now; the consensus is that I had a ruptured ovarian cyst which was very, VERY painful but not life-threatening in any way.  That's the good news.  The bad news is this past weekend I was in the ER in Qatar, which was...challenging, to say the least!  My trip was filled with many Not-so-Small Miracles, however, and, WARNING, it's a very long story.

My entry was dramatic, of course.  The boys and I were going to the St. Regis hotel to see their festive market before heading to the Marriott for a gingerbread house making session.  In the parking lot, I doubled over in pain and couldn't walk.  I did finally make it up to the bathroom, using the boys as canes, but after a half hour there, things just got worse, so I prayed for help because I literally didn't know what else to do.  Within minutes, I got a text from my friend R. whom we had seen earlier in the day, who had decided to to the St. Regis because we were going.  She was leaving when she texted but was quickly able to turn around and get back to us.  Her husband J. is a doctor, and another friend, another R. was also in the area, so the first R. arranged to get the second R. and his car up to the entrance to take me to the hospital with J. while she bundled the kids into her car and took them home with her, for what ended up being a sleepover on a school night.  Not-so-Small Miracle #1: the children, while hysterically crying that they were never going to see me again when we were waiting in the lobby for the car to take me to the ER, were soon happily playing on iPads at her house and settled right in because they are so comfortable with her and her children.

On the way to the hospital, I called my other friend S. because we realized that J. and the other R. couldn't go with me into the women's ER because they are men who are not related to me.  Of course! Luckily for me, though arguably not for them, S. and her husband were out on a date very close to the hospital and were even able to beat us there.  Not-so-Small Miracle #2: I would never have made it through my many hours there without S. nor do I think I would have gotten any of the treatment I needed without her insisting that the nurses follow through on the doctor's orders and keeping track of what medications they were giving me.

When we arrived, everyone went to find a wheelchair because I was in so much pain I couldn't stand, much less walk, and a short, stout Qatari woman in full veil hurried over to us and then walked us into the building.  She walked over to the reception desk and made sure they were filling out my paperwork with my health card, then motioned us into the first triage room ahead of all the people waiting inside, and then essentially pushed the patient who was already in with the nurse out of the way.  After they took my vitals, she said a few more things to the staff and then pushed us back into the second triage area, demanding that they get me into a room and that the doctor hurry right over to look at me.  He did, though he was borderline incompetent as he took my history and palpated my abdomen, but the Qatari woman kept coming back and forth, asking S. if she needed water or coffee, and saying soothing things about how it wouldn't be long now and the pain would be under control soon.  Eventually, they decided we needed to go to a third triage room for morphine, and they told me to wait for another wheelchair, at which point she unlocked my bed and rolled it out of the room, saying with a dismissive shake of her head, "Why wait?  We will go!"  The nurses there discussed it and said they really needed to wait for the wheelchair since there wasn't enough room for a bed there, so she scurried off to get a wheelchair, I guess.  After she had gone, one of the nurses turned to us and said "Is she your friend?" We both gaped and said "No, we thought she worked here!"  Oh, no no, they said, we don't know who she is....what the what??  Someone else did bring a wheelchair and got me to the next room for an IV (but no pain meds yet) and she came in once more, expensive purse over her shoulder and told the nurse putting in my IV "You take very good care of her; she is a very important person!" before she disappeared out a door, never to be seen again.  Not-so-Small Miracle #3: I was provided with my very own Qatari Guardian Angel!

Soon, we were ushered into yet another room, and finally, finally, I was given morphine, which made me feel much better, though pretty nauseous.  They decided I needed an ultrasound and perhaps a CT scan, and they told me it would be two hours before I could get the ultrasound because there was only one in use in the entire hospital...!  So we waited.  And we waited.  And we waited.  In the meantime, however, my friends had contacted other doctor friends who were working behind the scenes to move things along and a nice American doctor who was on call appeared to tell us that my ultrasound request had been denied because they asked for a Doppler test as well and apparently only an OBGYN can order such a test here, so he had to go fight the good fight to get an exception made, which he did.  He was also very helpful in getting more pain meds on board, since the pain never really did go away, which was not fun at all.  They are funny about narcotics here: they do not like to give more than Tylenol in almost every case, so we had to fight to convince them that morphine and then, later, fentanyl were appropriate in this case.  Or rather, S. had to fight with them since I was too out of it.  She and one of the nurses had an argument about which was more damaging to your kidneys and liver at this point, narcotics or Tylenol, but S. won the day by enlisting another helpful doctor, though the nurse then took forever to give the dose in retaliation.

After we had been waiting for over 7 hours with still no ultrasound and not much radical improvement in pain, my doctor friends sprung into action.  One surgeon, G., whom I had only ever met just briefly, appeared in the ER and started wheeling me into various scans himself, talking through and around the technicians and doctors in his way and finally getting me an ultrasound, x-rays, and a CT.  He was livid that I had been waiting for so long with no progress, especially after he determined that the reason I was still waiting is that several people had just simply decided not to pick up a phone and make a call, so he took it upon himself to rally people into action and read the results himself.  Not-so-Small Miracle #4: I shudder to think how much longer we would have been sitting there had he not stepped in.  As it was, we finally limped home after 1am.

A day later, I was still in some pain but it was manageable, and the boys were back home with me, much to their delight.  Friends brought over dinner a few nights and I was able to take it easy and rest a lot while the boys were at school and at play dates in the compound, which helped a ton.  Of course, the husband was out of town while all this was going on, but I was texting and talking to him while I was in the ER, as were our doctor friends and S., so he was kept apprised of everything.  He wanted to come right home, but I told him not to once I was fairly sure it wasn't anything surgical.  He was at an important industry meeting and then was going to see his 103 year old grandmother, and I didn't want him to miss any of that when I was sure I would be fine in a few days (Doctor G. agreed with me, which helped sway the husband my way).  Of course, I was sad that he wasn't able to be there through all this, but I really did feel very taken care of throughout the ordeal and in the succeeding days, so I am glad that we decided he should stay put.  Not-so-Small Miracle #5: even in the husband's absence, I was in capable hands.  Not-so-Small Miracle #6: I had not realized just how many friendships we had developed here and just how strong those friendships were until I saw everyone around me leap into action and solve all my problems from taking care of my children to getting me to the hospital to watching the nurses to make sure they gave me the right drugs to bringing me dinner to washing my children's school uniforms to checking in on me by text, phone, and Facebook to make sure I was alright.  I'm happy to discover our friendship network here is now just as strong as it has been in other places we've lived; this is very comforting!

Since then, it appears that our doctor friends have raised my case as a complaint against the system and the hospital is doing an internal investigation to figure out what when wrong and why.  This development is a little comforting, but just a little.  I don't want to have to have a phalanx of outside doctors surrounding me every time anyone I know has to go the hospital just to make sure something gets done correctly and in a timely matter!  But that is a worry for another day!

Horsies!

A few weeks ago, we went to the finals of the Longines Global Champions Tour for show jumping at the Al Shaqab Equestrian Centre.

I had heard through the grapevine that this was happening, and I thought it might be fun for the boys to see show jumping live.  I mean, when were they going to see something like this again?  I've lived my whole life and only seen show jumping on TV at the Olympics!  And Al Shaqab is part of the Qatar Foundation so all QF employees got in free.  It sounded like a good opportunity.

I checked the schedule and saw that there was an event that was happening at 2:15pm, right after school on Thursday, the first day of the three day tour.  I packed up some snacks, changes of clothes, and some new Legos (courtesy of a care package from Grandma!) and went to surprise the boys and pick them up from school.  They were both shocked to see me, since they normally ride the bus now, and they were very happy to see the Legos and to hear we were going to see horses.

Of course, we got a teensy bit lost on our way to the event, because of new construction, but we still got to the venue at 2:30pm, which meant there were plenty of horses left to see.  The equestrian center must be relatively new because it is in pristine condition, and there were probably 40 spectators, not counting the horse owners and jockeys down on the floor.  So we really felt like we had the place all to ourselves, and we sat right on the front row, which meant we were about 30 feet away from the field and the first jump of the run.  I found it all fascinating; I had never realized, having seen this only on the Olympics before, that often horses simply don't want to jump.  Many of these horses were absolutely not interested in jumping, and several baulked so suddenly they threw their riders to the ground or into the jump itself.  J thought it was exciting but was into watching for about 5 minutes before he got down on the ground and started to build his Lego car, while E sat beside me mesmerized for almost the entire event, telling me the horses were so powerful when they jumped and gasping whenever one clipped a jump or threw a rider.  He was very interested in the scoring and even though I only vaguely remembered how it worked from the last time I watched, after a few riders I was able to figure it all out again, much to E's delight.

Everyone got to do what they wanted, we saw something new, we learned something along the way, and we spent zero money!  Success!

See, Legos on the front row!

Matching cheesy grins!

Look how close we are!

And more cute boys for the road!

  

The new year has come early

I'm attempting to turn over some new leaves and do a little self-improvement.  Why wait for the new year when there is so much to be done??

First (these are not at all in order of importance, by the way), I got a haircut: it's short, it's sassy...no , it's not, it's basically a head full of curls, given my unruly hair.  But it looks good when it air dries, which is really my only criteria for a haircut, since I am lazy in the mornings, so it's a win!

Second, I've started to exercise again.  As I age, things have started to get a lot more squishy in a lot more places, so I've decided I need to do something about all this before the squishiness starts to win!  Plus, I'm heading home for my sister's wedding in February, which is a nice incentive to get a bit more trim and not look so silly in my formal dress(es).   So, I'm heading to the gym in the clubhouse every weekday morning at 6:45am after I see the boys and the husband off.  Right now I am mainly doing the treadmill, the stationary bike, and a few weight machines.  I may graduate to free weights and intervals at some point, but for now I am just trying to get in the habit of going.  I mean, all my life I've wanted a free gym right next door and now I have one, so I should be taking advantage of it!  Helpfully, my friend S from the compound is joining me, so I even have someone to keep me accountable!  Huzzah!

Third, I am cutting out candy.  So hard!!  It's ironic here that the candy is generally not that tasty and yet still I am eating it right and left.  I wonder how many gummy bears I can eat before I have to admit they really don't taste all that good any more!  We did import a lot of candy from the States this summer, but I'm going to put it all away and save it for the boys, who really only want one piece every other day or so right now.  It's pretty clear I am addicted to sugar, so I'm going to really try and rein that in and see how far I get.  I'm not cutting out all sweets; with the holiday season upon us that would just make me cranky, so candy is first.  I'm also attending a healthy cooking group where we are learning to cut out almost all refined foods, including white sugar, of course, and I am making small strides in this area, but I am not ready to commit whole hog quite yet.  One small step at a time!

Fourth, I am trying to watch/listen to/surf to more worthwhile media.  I'm listening to Christmas music in the background most of the day and to thought-producing talks or podcasts the rest of the time.  I'm clicking less on inane Buzz Feed articles and more on meaningful or interesting articles from other, more high brow sources instead.  I am still spending some time on Pinterest, but now I am searching for ideas for family home evening or for use in my assignment with the young women at church (why reinvent the wheel, I say).  We are working on screen time limits with the boys, and they are doing a pretty good job at sticking with them, so I am trying not to be on the computer when they are home unless it just can't be helped.

Fifth, I am redoubling, tripling, quadrupling my job search efforts with the intention of finding myself a job while at the same time securing the boys spots in a better school.  I am throwing myself on the alter of their education!  My next step in that process may be substitute teaching (heaven help me!) and, at the same time, I am spending all free time compiling their school records and filling out the time-consuming applications, both for employment and for school places.  I am an information producing machine, people!

Whew, I'm exhausted just reading all that!  Better get back to it!

More school shenanigans

To review, most employers in Qatar pay for their employees' kids' schooling.  Many "buy" spots at schools, which can mean they either pay the tuition for incoming students outright, put a down payment on potential slots, pay a fee to move their people's kids up the wait list, or some combination of the above.  These financial ties between employers and schools are critical because there are not nearly enough schools for the amount of children there are here, particularly young children, so getting in to schools without employer arrangements can be virtually impossible.  In our case, we work for the Qatar Foundation, which has several of it's own elementary and high schools and one specifically allocated for employees of the husband's hospital, so that is where our children attend.  Which should be great news for us, because it meant that when we came, we had school slots waiting for the boys, so we didn't have to go very far into the excruciatingly difficult arena of waitlists and school assessments to try and get the boys in elsewhere (though we did apply to three other schools before we found out we had guaranteed slots).

However, as I wrote at the beginning of the school year, our school situation has been, shall we say, mercurial.  Earlier this year, things were looking up, in theory: we had a new director, two new principals, a new assistant principal, new teachers, new support staff, and new hope.  Yes, there were all kinds of hiccups and craziness and yes, we submitted applications to new schools for next year, but things were getting better, in tiny, tiny increments.  And we decided that things were good enough for this year and might, just might be good enough for next year if we kept involved and actively following what was happening and volunteering (not really a thing here, but we try to do it anyway).

And then I went to parent conferences last week, and we got the rug pulled out from under us.  Oh, the conferences with the boys' teachers were great: they loved the boys, the boys are thriving in their classes, right on target in all subjects, ahead in a few, lots of improvement in controlling emotions, in J's case, and hands, in E's case, all good news.  However, while talking to a few other teachers during the breaks between conferences, I learned the following:

1.  Our new director, he who was passionately advocating on our behalf for new facilities and expanded services, he who hired all the new administrators and teachers, he who hand-picked the whole leadership team, he who just came aboard at the beginning of this school year...had been offered another job in the system and was taking it, effective in a few weeks.  Dang it!  I mean, I am sure they made him an offer he couldn't refuse and he will be great at the role they've given him, but now that leaves us without a director, again.  Back in another search for a leader, again.  Still stuck in the same facilities and having to start the argument/persuasion for why we should be getting a bigger and better place right back at the beginning.  Honestly, it's hard not to feel betrayed.  Word on the street is that in the interim, after he leaves, the whole administrative team will move up a notch, making the current elementary principal, whom I like quite a lot, the new acting and/or permanent director, but that's just a rumor at this point.

2.  Worse yet, all schools under our ultimate employer's umbrella have been told to cut their budgets for next year by 35%.  See, recently the price of oil has dropped.  A little over a year ago, in September 2013, crude oil was over $110 per barrel.  In July 2014, that number was hovering around $110 per barrel.  To date, that price is closer to $75.  What that means for an oil-based economy like Qatar is that everyone starts going a whole lotta CRAZY!  Budgets are being slashed across the board, particularly at places run by the government, like the husband's hospital and the boys' school.  But there is no rhyme or reason for the cuts, or at least there doesn't seem to be any for the school cuts.  Get rid of a third of your budget.  Poof!  It's hard to imagine a way in which these cuts do not affect my children.  I don't see how the school arrives at these cuts without larger class sizes, fewer support services, fewer extra-curriculars, fewer teacher aides, and really, really stressed teachers.  As it was, the school has felt like it has been held together with scotch tape and chopsticks and now they want to take away even that!

Christmas in Doha

One of the unexpectedly great things about being in the Middle East over the Christmas holidays is that you miss most of the commercial hype over Santa and his presents that starts after Halloween in the US.  Instead, you have to, or, I should say, you GET to decide exactly how you will celebrate the season for yourself.  It takes a bit more planning than you may be used to, but, in the end, I think it makes the holiday more thoughtful and less frenzied, which I quite enjoy.  Some folks take a Christmas trip to somewhere else with snow and/or other Christians, but we have decided to stay in Qatar instead.

Which is not to say that Christmas is completely missing here in Doha.  Many of the hotels have one or two holiday events and lots of seasonal decorations; there are many holiday markets that pop up selling handicrafts; most restaurants have a special Christmas Eve dinner or brunch on Christmas Day; and Ikea just announced that they are now selling, in addition to their plentiful Christmas decorations, live Christmas trees to be delivered right to your door, Doha-style.  So there are festivities and twinkling lights to be had, if you want to find them.

A few years ago, we started doing an activity advent in addition to our usual habit of unwrapping and reading a Christmas book (or two) every night until Christmas.  We've got a big felt tree with numbered pockets we fill with slips of paper telling us what we will do that day, and the boys take turns pulling the slips out.  Last year, sadly, since we were busy moving until right before Christmas, we didn't do the activity advent and contented ourselves with the (light and portable) Lego advent instead.  This year, we're doing it all: books, Lego, and an activity per day!  However, as I was plotting out the activities this month, I made an alarming realization.  After I had put in all the already scheduled events I knew about, like a holiday concert and the ward Christmas activity at the singing sand dunes, I still had many, many more days than usual to fill up!  This is the other thing that happens when you spend the Christmas season in a Muslim country, my friends!  You DO need to get a bit more creative when it comes to holiday celebrations.

So, without further ado, here is our list of Christmas advent activities for the month of December:

• Decorate the tree
• Set up the nativities
• Make Christmas pictures/cards for the grandparents
• Pajama party (maybe)
• Gingerbread house making (this is at the Doha Marriott)
• Christmas pancakes for dinner
• Christmas movie party
• Make paper snowflakes
• Go through toys and find some to donate to church
• Buy/make Christmas gifts for Daddy
• Doha Singers/Orchestra concert
• Singing sand dunes ward activity
• Eat dinner by candlelight
• Family game night
• Make a Christmas craft
• Christmas songs dance party
• Qatar National Day parade
• Christmas carols (another event at the Marriott)
• Make s'mores outside
• Pictures with Santa (at another hotel)
• Visit the beach
• Make peppermint bark or fudge
• Go Christmas caroling
• Read the Christmas story and open one present
• Skype family

These are roughly in order.  Our activities are further complicated by the fact that the husband will be in the States from December 3-16, so I will be on my own for a lot of the month, meaning the activities need to be low-stress and low-commitment and/or preferably planned or executed by someone else at least part of the time...hence, the hotels!  And we may add in a few day trips to places outside of Doha that we haven't visited yet when the husband gets back and we're feeling adventurous again.  I am not above pulling the slips out at night and rearranging or replacing them as needed.  I'm a pragmatic elf!

Happy (American) Thanksgiving!

We didn't get this holiday off from work or school, of course, so we had Thanksgiving dinner at actual dinnertime (as opposed to the noon meal I usually serve because I can't wait any longer!).  This year, our first Thanksgiving in Doha, we hosted, and we had a full house of 20, including lots of kids and friends from the US, New Zealand, and Canada.

For the first time ever, we cooked a fresh turkey.  In the run up to November, I began to wonder what the turkey situation would be like.  It turns out they do sell frozen birds here, Jennie O's in fact, but I also found a farm about an hour north of Doha where they sell turkeys, ducks, duck eggs, goats and goat's milk, and rabbits.  They kill and pluck the turkey and bring it to your door within the hour.  We were a little skeptical since ordering was very informal, through Facebook private message with the supervisor of the farm as opposed to the Qatari owner, and they increased the price by 30% upon delivery the day before (so we were up against a wall!), but it all worked out!  Granted, the plucking they did was a bit less thorough than we were used to (picture the husband and I hunched over the sink with tweezers!) and the bird was not gutted, nor was the neck cut off, so we also had to do a bit of surgery the night before.  It was a much more hand's on holiday than I was wishing for but certainly an adventure!

Here is the husband after he cut off the neck; he was very proud!

Post turkey surgery.

In addition to turkey, I made cornbread stuffing, gravy, a strawberry/granny smith apple/pecan jello mold, mashed potatoes, cranberry relish (from scratch, another first), and pumpkin bread pudding made out of croissants (a substitute for my usual pumpkin gingerbread trifle, which is a bit too labor intensive to came completely from scratch).  Sadly, right before I was ready to mash the potatoes, I discovered one of my children had taken the potato masher outside and either lost it or broke it, so the potatoes ended up more squashed than mashed with the help of a ladle and a rice paddle.  My cleaner, who was home helping me set up the tables and such, was completely mystified about what I was making and how--try explaining the appeal of mashed potatoes to someone who has never seen them before--it's harder than you would think!  I also served rolls (store bought), apple and mango chutney (homemade by someone else) along with the cranberry sauce (for some international flavor), and dill and sweet pickles.  Others brought homemade rolls (we used hers instead!), pavlova, more stuffing, sweet potatoes, an apple cheesecake dessert, and veggie spring rolls.  I'm of the opinion that if you don't end up in a food coma after Thanksgiving, you're not doing it right!  Plus, I love all the Thanksgiving fixings so much, I wanted to be sure to have plenty of leftovers (there were!).

Working on decorations before the guests arrived.

We used two of my green table clothes and decorated with just a few Ikea candles (hint: the most versatile colors for year round entertaining and decor?  Plain red and plain green--think Valentines, Christmas, and 4th of July, and then Thanksgiving, St. Patrick's Day, and Easter--so be sure to pick up what you need at an after Christmas sale!).  I borrowed additional dishes and glasses from our neighbors (thankfully, we all have the same set, which makes things easier) for the main meal, but we went with cheery yellow paper goods for dessert to save us all a little work.  We had a toast with sparkling apple juice, and the kids stayed fairly well-behaved, especially since they ranged in age from 3 to 18!  It was a late night for the boys since we leisurely had (herbal) tea with dessert and were all in the requisite turkey coma after dinner, but everyone had fun, I think, and dinner was a yummy success!

The kids' table!

Some of our hungry guests.

Still smiling after it was all over!

Driving in Doha

It occurs to me that next month I will celebrate one year of living in Doha, which means I will also "celebrate" one year of driving in Doha.  The second commemoration seems much more significant than the first, believe me.

Doha roads take all the things that sometimes annoy you about driving (traffic, constant construction, hopelessly inaccurate signs, lax policing, aggressive drivers, new drivers, foreign drivers, and people driving while talking on their cell phones) and throws in some extra tidbits for flavor (unnamed roads that lead to nowhere, pretty frequent dust storms, occasionally impenetrable fog, mind boggling roundabouts, reckless underage drivers, and extreme danger) and serves it up to you on a platter that, for most of the year, is scorchingly hot.  Going anywhere means you must brave all this, for there is no way to avoid any of it, even on a very, very good day.

Sure, you may not have to face the fog, which only comes out in the mornings during winter, and you may happily skip the afternoon dust storms depending on your timing, but it is almost impossible to get to virtually any destination without being forced through a roundabout at some point.  Believe me, I've tried!  I have become the queen of backroads and back ways, all in an ongoing effort to spare myself as many roundabouts as possible, but it's really no use.  All the divided roads here mean that sooner or later you will want to turn left, and the only way to do that is to go around a roundabout.

And roundabouts are a microcosm of the worst parts of Doha driving.  Often, especially recently, the roundabouts are under construction.  Usually that means inadequate, confusing, or just plain false signs.  Roundabouts are where the aggressive drivers get positively mean, the new drivers get completely flustered and act erratically, which is almost as dangerous, and the foreign drivers, particularly those used to driving on the other side of the road, just generally contribute to chaos.  All of this is not helped by the configuration of my favorite roundabouts, in which three lanes of traffic feed into just two lanes going around.  Not that anyone actually recognizes the switch; most people just drive blithely on, forcing three lanes into two or, more often, simply moving into your lane without warning.  During high traffic times, policemen appear to "direct" traffic, but often it seems as if they themselves have not driven much when they "direct" you into a near accident or tell cars to stop or go completely arbitrarily.

Today, for example, I was caught in two inexplicable and one explicable traffic jam(s)--the last one was caused by a car that had run into the back of someone else so hard the front of the car was completely crumpled, but the driver was still standing, so that's good.  I also saw a woman drive down the middle of a backed up three lane road.  As in she moved herself into a space between cars in lane one and lane two and then basically forced her way forward as if she were an emergency vehicle with lights and sirens, straddling the dotted line between the lanes and inching so close to people they felt they had to move so she wouldn't hit them.  She was driving a sedan as opposed to the ubiquitous SUVs, so I guess she saw herself as being super maneuverable...?  Then another guy passed me on the right...on the sidewalk...going at least 30mph.  Because of course he did!  And all this was only on the approach to the roundabout!  Once we got there and were waiting for the light to change--some actually do have lights, which makes them marginally better than others--another car drove through really fast after the light had changed and he has lost his right of way, but he was laying on his horn really hard to let us all know to get out of his way.  Thanks for the warning, buddy!

As I said to a newly minted Doha driver, driving here is always strategic.  You never just get in your car and GO!  Oh no, you need to plot out your route, either via GPS or mentally, account for new construction, consider the danger of the roundabouts you might face, plan for alternate routes, build in 20 extra minutes for something unexpected, and then maybe reconsider whether you really want to go anywhere at all!  And once you're on the road, it's the ultimate defensive driving course where the stakes really are life and death!

Wanna come ride with me??

Dragon Mart Doha

A few days ago I decided to visit Dragon Mart, a new(ish) collection of stores where everything is imported from Asia.  In typical Doha fashion, despite having had a soft opening in June or July and a grand opening in October, I had heard from multiple sources that the place really wasn't up and running yet.  However, after seeing someone post a picture of cheap fabric for sale and being in the market for some fabric for a Thanksgiving table cloth, I decided to give it a go.

And so began the usual Doha errand: first, the place didn't come up on an map, but I had seen a pin dropped on a fuzzy map in a newspaper story, so I tracked down the story and strained to see the crossroads and eventually figured out more or less where I thought I was going.  I set off with three hours before the kids got home from school, plenty of time for even the most disastrous of Doha days.  

It's a good thing I gave myself those three hours.

First, this place is out in the "industrial area," part of a complex called the 8 Mile Mall.  And yes, it's 8 miles long, though much of it is uninhabited and/or unfinished at the moment and there is some residential space in there as well (I think).  And all the major roads going in and out of the industrial area are under construction, so getting to the right intersection was tricky and took much longer than the 17 minutes my map program estimated.  Eventually, I did make it to the right intersection, though of course that intersection was now a roundabout, meaning I drove right past where I wanted to go and then much farther down the road as I looked for a place to make a U-turn.  And when I made the U-turn, I ran smack into a huge traffic jam of unmoving cars.

Now, traffic in Doha is the norm, but this was unusual, given that is was the middle of the day and this was a huge three land road out in the middle of nowhere, but I patiently sat in the barely moving traffic for a long, long, longlonglong time...until I started to see people driving past me on the right over the shoulder and into the desert to skirt the traffic.  Normally, I don't ever do this, but what happened when these people went off-roading, as I could see by craning my neck and looking waaaay down the road, if that eventually then ended up in the parking lot for Dragon Mart, exactly where I wanted to be!  Now most of the drivers, of course, were just using that parking lot as a means to an end, but I actually wanted to be right there so I finally steeled my nerves, thanked the husband again for our four wheel drive, and headed off road myself.

Only this time, I was deathly afraid while doing so, because just last week, the Qatari government passed a law outlawing passing on the right in an attempt to stop the rampant disregard of driving laws around here.  The penalty, if you are caught, is...wait for it...seven days in jail and your car is impounded for seven days.  You read that right: SEVEN DAYS IN JAIL!  I justified my actions by saying I really and truly wasn't trying to pass all these people but just get to my destination that just happened to be to the right, but I was driving as fast as I could and scanning the road for police as I did so, just in case.  Admittedly, I was one of about 30 people who were doing the same thing, so there was safety in numbers and the police here are not very proactive about stopping anyone at all usually, but I worried that their enthusiasm for the new law might spur them to action all of the sudden.  

(As I made it to the parking lot, I saw that the trouble ahead was actually an enormous dump truck on its side they were trying to get upright again, hence the huge traffic jam.)

So, once I parked, took a few deep breaths to calm back down, and collected myself, I entered Dragon Mart, just an hour and a half after I set out on my journey!  Happily, my trip was not a waste of time.  Dragon Mart turns out to be a million little storefronts, like an indoor flea market, selling all kinds of things from Asia, many of which were fun and useful, some of which were incredibly over the top.  For example...

this vendor is selling astroturf...in your choice of colors!

This is wall paper made to look like stone tile.  Because of COURSE it is! 

I don't think this picture does these tile samples justice,
because all that glittering is not the flash; they really were that sparkly!

I did finally find the fabric, but there were a bunch of stores
selling dresses like these and leggings in every print imaginable
...and many I had never imagined!

Oh, I was just looking for a HUGE ornate mirror!  Lucky me!
(Notice the now righted dump truck in the background!)

In the end, Dragon Mart sells lots of cheap toys, women's clothes, home decor, accessories, and a little smattering of everything else, including dresses for women and girls in the Qatari national colors (useful if they ask you to dress up for National Day), abayas, outdoor furniture and playground equipment, and kids' clothes.  There are many stalls yet to open downstairs and a whole upper floor that is completely uninhabited, but even in its current unfinished state, it was worth a trip.  any of The prices are cheaper than most of the other places in Doha and it's always helpful to know where such bargains can be found.  Doha friends, be warned: the air conditioning is weak, so I would plan on visiting only during the winter months for the time being.  And there is nowhere to eat on the premises and no restaurants close by yet, so you will need to head back to Salwa Road for that.

This is how we do it

I was thinking the other day that I haven't done a post just about Qatar in a long while.  I mean, clearly I write "about" living in Qatar all the time, but I don't write a whole lot about the country or the terrain or the culture or the language or the people specifically.  And I think it's probably time that I explain why that is.

Because there is a reason, you see.  More than at any other time in my life, at this time, in this place, I am learning to be careful.  Careful about what I say, careful about what I write, careful about how I dress, careful about where I go, careful, careful, careful.  I am careful not to offend, careful not to disrupt, careful not to speak or write or do anything without thinking.  In many ways, I live a filtered life, and so this blog is filtered, as well, no matter how much I might wish it not to be.  It's partially one of the trade-offs I have made to have a public blog, one that my casual readers can read once in a while if they feel like it, instead of a private, invite-only blog.  But it's also partially a reflection of expat life in Qatar.

We are guests here.  We know this.  We are reminded of this daily.  Every day, we encounter situations or people or subtle signs that remind us of our status as guests.  And we don't want to put our hosts out if at all possible, nor do we want to be put out ourselves (as in, put out of the country).  So we are respectful, tolerant, considerate, and, above all else, careful.

For example, when we had our church Halloween party last month, we were reminded not to come in costumes so scary they would upset our neighbors.  (One young girl did come as a weeping angel, which was pretty dang scary and TOTALLY AWESOME, but until she put on the mask inside, she just looked like a regular angel, and I am willing to bet not many of our neighbors are big Doctor Who fans anyway!)  In fact, we maintain such a low profile at church we don't even have printed programs on Sundays so we don't leave an unnecessary and possibly ill-advised paper trail.  We're that careful.

Recently, we got a warning from the US State Department telling us about some specific but anonymous threats placed on websites against American teachers in some Middle Eastern countries (Qatar was not specifically mentioned).  We were advised to avoid crowds or large gatherings when traveling in public, know where we were going and have a plan in case we encountered violence or demonstrations, tell co-workers or neighbors where we were going and when we would return, and have embassy numbers programmed into our phones, among other similar instructions.  The funny thing is, we are already taking all of these precautions and more, just as a part of our daily life here, because we are always being careful.  It's what you do.

At the same time, we still feel very safe here.  I'm certain that the minute we stopped feeling safe, we would be on the next plane home, but for now, the only real dangers we face involve the crazy drivers on the roads.  And we're happy, despite our everyday caution.  I, for one, have probably benefited from these new lessons in how to be circumspect!  I know my children are learning much more about modesty and cultural tolerance and social appropriateness by osmosis than they ever would have in your everyday American elementary school.  My six year old recently explained to me that he thought his shorts were getting too short "because Mommy, in this country, we like to cover up a bit more than this."  You can't buy an education like that!  And I think it behooves us all to learn how to be respectful in public at all times, public respect being a commodity that is sometimes in short supply elsewhere. 

The banging...the BANGING!!

When we first arrived to our new home, we noticed a leak in one of our upstairs closets.  The paint was peeling in the back of the closet at first and then, after the first big rain storm, we could tell the water was now leaking down into the corner of our dining room.  At some point, we told maintenance about the issue but we really didn't feel much urgency about it since we didn't use that closest regularly for anything but storage and everything we stored there was in waterproof bins (side note: can I just tell you how happy I am the movers in OH let me keep everything that was already in a bin packed in the same bin to transport here?  These kinds of big rubbermaid containers are unavailable here, or at least I haven't found them yet, and, just like in the states, I use them for EVERYTHING!  So glad I was able to bring so many!).  I think we somehow communicated our lack of urgency too effectively because although we reported the leak, we saw no one for weeks, months, until, one day, a painter arrived to "fix" it.  This was before we left for summer vacation.

I explained to the supervisor (the painter spoke no English) that painting was really the least of our problems and the paint was likely to get ruined again during the next rain because there was a leak, you see, so cosmetic fixes really were beside the point.  He nodded energetically, fired off something in some Indian dialect to the painter, and then told me again they were going to paint to fix the problem.  Sigh.  Okay, fine, do what you want.  It turned out the paint they chose was this incredibly toxic stuff so I opened all the windows and doors to the hot outside air and then declared we were going out for the day to give the place a chance to dry without killing our brain cells in the process.  When we got back that night, the paint was dry...and it was a different color than the rest of the room, which would have been fine, if they had just painted the whole wall affected, but instead they left a nice little line about two feet from the corner of the wall where the new paint color ended and the old began.  Sigh again.  But really, I wasn't worried because chances are it was going to rain again and ruin this paint, too, and they would have to do it all over again, as I had tried to explain to them.

Fast forward until this month, November: I get an agitated call from the maintenance supervisor telling me urgently "Madame, you have a leak on your roof and we must fix it at once!"  Oh, really?  At once, you say?  Well certainly, if you must, you must!  He then explains that the process will be a long one, taking 7-10 days.  The first step involves drilling on the roof for 2-3 days, then something else happens, he wasn't clear about that, then the weatherproofing occurs for another 2-3 days, then something else he also didn't explain too clearly, and then perhaps they were done, but they couldn't be sure until it rains, at which point they might have to start all over again.  Did I give them permission to do all this?  Of course, why not?  Let's get it fixed!

And so it began.  Every day this week, from 7am until 2pm, someone has been drilling or scraping or clanking or, and this really is the worst part, banging about on my roof constantly.  I cannot imagine how the leak could be serious enough to warrant all this time, work, and most annoyingly of all, infernal NOISE, but now they seem to feel that it's a huge problem that must be solved.  There is a huge skylight on the second level of my house and through it I can watch the workers, at least 8 of them at any given time, all day long if I want.  I can also hear all their muffled conversations, in between the bangs.  It's a veritable construction symphony!  Today, I saw them unloading rolls and rolls of weatherproofing material, feet and feet of it, but the area in question really can't be that large...unless they never weatherproofed in the first place....which is entirely possible!  I did tell them that I didn't want any work to be done in the late afternoon, after the kids get here, because they are even less tolerant of repetitive noises than I am, truth be told, but glory, glory be, I had NO IDEA of the production that was about to unfold!  Triple sigh....

Unfortunately, this is how construction projects usually roll around here: slowly, very very slowly, not on any timeline you might expect, and with very little rhyme or reason.  Super dooper fun!