For basically the whole of our marriage, the husband has been taking regular trips. In the beginning, they were for school events or student conferences, then for resident events and conferences, and then later for all sorts of business presentations, lectures, conferences, training, and recruitment. Since about the time we had J, these trips have taken place on average once a month for a weekend or so. Now, many years on, they still take place about once a month, but because (almost) every trip from here is a major endeavor and you need time to recover if you are going to hope to be successful at whatever it is that you are trying to do, the trips usually last a week or more. In December, the husband was gone almost two weeks, then another at the end of January, then one some time in February I think, then three whole weeks of training in March, then another in April or May...and on and on. You get the idea! In short, the husband travels. A LOT.
Don't get me wrong: I like that the husband gets to make presentations at conferences and be on industry committees and interview people who might want to move to the Middle East. Every trip is good for his career and, therefore, good for us, sometimes in immediate, practical ways. For example, now that we are living in Qatar, as I think I have mentioned before, one lovely side effect of these trips is that whenever he goes to the States, I can send a shopping list with him and he returns with all sorts of useful things for us, like children's Tylenol and printer ink cartridges. If necessary, I can also send an Amazon order to his hotel if we need something else that we just can't find here (which still happens more frequently than we would like) so we can avoid the exorbitant shipping prices and quixotic mail system here.
And for the first few days that he is gone, to be completely honest, we really don't notice. The boys and I go about our business, eating breakfast for dinner if we feel like it (the husband really does not enjoy pancakes in the evenings), staying out a bit later after school or heading to a friend's house for a late play date or leaving to run an errand in the late afternoon when we would otherwise be waiting for Daddy to arrive. In fact, I like to mix the schedule up a bit so they don't really notice that Daddy isn't around, and my ploy usually works...for a time. In the past, right about the time we were all getting tired of each other, the husband would return with surprises and distraction and we would quickly revert back to our normal routines.
But these new (and improved?) longer trips are really taking it out of me. Granted, the kids are both in school during the day, so I can still get errands run and groceries bought and gas tanks filled without them, which is great. However, when they get home, there is no evening buffer between us and my patience runs thin (never very thick to begin with, honestly) and they start to get crankier and crankier and bedtime starts creeping earlier and earlier because we all just can't take it any more! This December trip there was lots for us to do, between invented advent activities and real National Day celebrations and unexpected trips to the hospital, but even so, we were all a bit beleaguered when the husband flew back in 13 days later. He doesn't like being gone that long either, though I think his struggles are somewhat different from ours. Somehow, however, we all need to find our zen about these trips. I mean, it could be worse, right? He could be a pilot or an ER doctor or in the military or any one of dozens of other professions that require frequent absences (though who knew pharmacist was going to end up being such a fast-paced career?). Those families adjust, and we need to learn how to adjust, too, right? RIGHT?? Now, if we only could figure out how....
Don't get me wrong: I like that the husband gets to make presentations at conferences and be on industry committees and interview people who might want to move to the Middle East. Every trip is good for his career and, therefore, good for us, sometimes in immediate, practical ways. For example, now that we are living in Qatar, as I think I have mentioned before, one lovely side effect of these trips is that whenever he goes to the States, I can send a shopping list with him and he returns with all sorts of useful things for us, like children's Tylenol and printer ink cartridges. If necessary, I can also send an Amazon order to his hotel if we need something else that we just can't find here (which still happens more frequently than we would like) so we can avoid the exorbitant shipping prices and quixotic mail system here.
And for the first few days that he is gone, to be completely honest, we really don't notice. The boys and I go about our business, eating breakfast for dinner if we feel like it (the husband really does not enjoy pancakes in the evenings), staying out a bit later after school or heading to a friend's house for a late play date or leaving to run an errand in the late afternoon when we would otherwise be waiting for Daddy to arrive. In fact, I like to mix the schedule up a bit so they don't really notice that Daddy isn't around, and my ploy usually works...for a time. In the past, right about the time we were all getting tired of each other, the husband would return with surprises and distraction and we would quickly revert back to our normal routines.
But these new (and improved?) longer trips are really taking it out of me. Granted, the kids are both in school during the day, so I can still get errands run and groceries bought and gas tanks filled without them, which is great. However, when they get home, there is no evening buffer between us and my patience runs thin (never very thick to begin with, honestly) and they start to get crankier and crankier and bedtime starts creeping earlier and earlier because we all just can't take it any more! This December trip there was lots for us to do, between invented advent activities and real National Day celebrations and unexpected trips to the hospital, but even so, we were all a bit beleaguered when the husband flew back in 13 days later. He doesn't like being gone that long either, though I think his struggles are somewhat different from ours. Somehow, however, we all need to find our zen about these trips. I mean, it could be worse, right? He could be a pilot or an ER doctor or in the military or any one of dozens of other professions that require frequent absences (though who knew pharmacist was going to end up being such a fast-paced career?). Those families adjust, and we need to learn how to adjust, too, right? RIGHT?? Now, if we only could figure out how....
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