One of the hallmarks of expat life is change, specifically the changes that come with moving and being moved around. As June arrives, so too does the (sometimes) mass exodus of expats moving on to (not necessarily) greener pastures. This year, we are not one of the leaving but we are among the left, and it's a strange place to be. In our church congregation, there are at least 11 families moving on, including some of our very best friends here. In J's school class, his best friend since he arrived, the miracle girl E who made it okay for him to be here at all, is moving to Saudi Arabia. In E's class, his best friend, the one he talks about every day both before and after school, may be leaving as well, though whether it's just for a new school or a new country, we don't know yet, and regardless he is going to miss one of those little boys from church (and from down the street!) something awful. In addition, many of their teachers are leaving, as their contracts end and the uncertainty at the school continues. At the library where I volunteer, several of the women I know well are also leaving and spreading their duties out among the rest of us who are staying.
In short, all around us, people are talking about leaving, packing, selling, collecting, giving away, and saying goodbye. It's quite odd, really, going to final meetings, going away brunches, farewell parties, and the like, and at times, to be completely honest, it's more than a little sad. I mean, I know it's hard for the leaving; I was just one of them, not even two years ago and then not even two years before that. There are so many ways to go: Denial, Delusion, Depression, Distance--there are at least four D's, probably more, and I have done them all in my last two moves! But this time, I'm not moving; I'm staying, and it's more than just a few people I know moving away, and I'm more than a little ambivalent about staying here right at the moment, so it's different (a new D).
If you know where to look, there are lots and lots of resources out there in the Interwebs to help expats repatriate successfully, articles on leaving, arriving, and re-acclimatizing with verve and good humor and a healthy number of reality checks. But there really isn't a whole, whole lot on what to do when you are not repatriating (yet?) but are instead just staying in place and bidding everyone a fond farewell. You kind of have to make it up as you go along. So here's what I'm deciding to do:
1. Be very, very happy for my new friends' good fortunes (though I may cry just a teeny, weeny little bit when some of them leave--boo!).
2. Focus on my own upcoming trip back to the motherland (Distraction, another helpful D!).
3. Remind myself of all the good reasons why we are staying (rapidly shrinking debt--check; opportunities to do and learn all sorts of new things--check; the chance to live abroad that we thought we would never have at this stage of the game--check!).
4. Binge watch all the episodes of The Gilmore Girls to cheer myself up--no one is ever sad for very long in Stars Hollow, my friends.
5. Chocolate. Or baked goods. Perhaps both. Don't judge me!
In short, all around us, people are talking about leaving, packing, selling, collecting, giving away, and saying goodbye. It's quite odd, really, going to final meetings, going away brunches, farewell parties, and the like, and at times, to be completely honest, it's more than a little sad. I mean, I know it's hard for the leaving; I was just one of them, not even two years ago and then not even two years before that. There are so many ways to go: Denial, Delusion, Depression, Distance--there are at least four D's, probably more, and I have done them all in my last two moves! But this time, I'm not moving; I'm staying, and it's more than just a few people I know moving away, and I'm more than a little ambivalent about staying here right at the moment, so it's different (a new D).
If you know where to look, there are lots and lots of resources out there in the Interwebs to help expats repatriate successfully, articles on leaving, arriving, and re-acclimatizing with verve and good humor and a healthy number of reality checks. But there really isn't a whole, whole lot on what to do when you are not repatriating (yet?) but are instead just staying in place and bidding everyone a fond farewell. You kind of have to make it up as you go along. So here's what I'm deciding to do:
1. Be very, very happy for my new friends' good fortunes (though I may cry just a teeny, weeny little bit when some of them leave--boo!).
2. Focus on my own upcoming trip back to the motherland (Distraction, another helpful D!).
3. Remind myself of all the good reasons why we are staying (rapidly shrinking debt--check; opportunities to do and learn all sorts of new things--check; the chance to live abroad that we thought we would never have at this stage of the game--check!).
4. Binge watch all the episodes of The Gilmore Girls to cheer myself up--no one is ever sad for very long in Stars Hollow, my friends.
5. Chocolate. Or baked goods. Perhaps both. Don't judge me!
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| What's that, you ask? Just a random picture of a cheese quesadilla with a smily face made out of chocolate chips and peanut butter, of course. Why not? |
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