Friday, May 2, 2014

The new normal

Our house is starting to feel a lot more ours, which is so very, very nice!  We got rid of the red couches and most of the white leather and now that we've put out our brown leather couch and my green chairs and all our pillows, even the bizarre red checked curtains that somehow always seem orange actually work with the decor.  I'm really not sure how, but we're going with it.  Plus, to change out the curtains we would have to reupholster the built-in valances, and I'm just not going to do it.  Orange it is!  We've also cleared out a room and a half of furniture upstairs, which is giving me a place to put everything I was piling up all over the place in not-so-tucked away nooks and crannies.  Huzzah!

The reappearance of the desktop computer also makes me happy, since with it came all our digital photos and the printer and all the work we've done over the last few years.  Yes, the desktop is sitting on a white lacquered desk with a black glass top that is so very not me, but we can't have everything the same as it was, now can we??

Slowly, we are getting back into our old rhythms...or trying to.  The boys used to wake up at 6:30-ish every morning and come get in bed with us; I'd go down and get them started on breakfast and go take a shower while they would draw or play (but mostly draw) until it was time to get ready for school.  Then we would walk J to his school, retrace our steps, and walk E to his most days.  The majority of the time, our mornings felt very calm, almost leisurely.  But we don't have that luxury anymore.  The boys still get up early, at 5-ish and get in bed with us, but I have to get into the shower at 5:15 so I'm out and downstairs with enough time to get breakfast, pack lunches, and make sure the uniforms are ready so we can be out the door by 6:25.  There is very little time if any for play or drawing.  In addition, our drive can be agonizingly slow and therefore very stressful, and the boys have a definite time limit in the car.  After a certain point, their anxiety levels, always fairly high here, start to rise.  If we are out of the car before then, everything is fine.  If we are still in the car, then the rest of the drive and the transition into school can be rocky at best.

When J got home from school in the afternoons in Cleveland, it was late, 3:45pm or so, which meant he really only wanted to chill a little and then play a little before dinnertime.  (His Kindergarten teacher only ever gave homework on the weekends and then it was one worksheet at best, something I really appreciated.)  If I had an errand to run after school, he was NOT happy, though E was bored from being home most of the day and raring to go.  Now I pick J up at 1:40pm so we are home at 2:15 and both boys are very tired and frequently grouchy.  Playing outside helps, but we run into the problem here that most folks don't put their kids to bed until after 8pm at the earliest, despite everyone's early mornings, so there is usually no one around right after school but loads of kids cavorting in the streets at 4:30, when we usually have dinner now in order to get the kids in bed by 6:30 or 7pm at the very latest.  Which means the kids can get even crankier because now I won't let them play with their friends.  PLUS, homework for Kindergarteners is a daily thing here, so we have spelling words and reading homework and various other worksheets to get through before bedtime.  Really?

I still haven't worked out the best solution to all these scheduling issues.  J needs time to unwind after school before homework can even be attempted, but we have after school activities that he also wants to do, even needs to do in the case of swim lessons.  The neighborhood kids are always going to be outside playing much later than I can imagine letting my boys stay out.  Both boys need a lot of physical exercise in order to stay asleep at night, so playing outside or in the clubhouse or the pool is essential, despite the heat.  Neither boy has had the time or the inclination to draw for fun since they started school, and both boys complain about never having any downtime at school.  Every 45 minutes they change activities, and every block is scheduled for the entire day, no free play, hardly any recess time (it's not scheduled ever for J), no "discovery time" or rest period like J had in his last school.

We are at a bit of an impasse!  Even though our house looks more and more like our previous homes, more and more often we are realizing that we are not in Kansas...or Cleveland any more!  We will work this all out, of course, but the struggle is definitely a struggle some days!

No comments:

Post a Comment