Houston, we no longer have a problem...sort of

Our flights are booked!!  We leave more or less as planned on Saturday and finally, FINALLY, the surreality of all this has hit me.  I am moving to the Middle East, people.  At the end of the week.  That is CRAZY.  In all the prep work I haven't really sat down to think much about all this beyond logistical considerations and last night, after all the boxes were loaded onto the truck and the truck drove off, I did take a little time to think about something besides moving and packing and the insane boys and getting ready to go and realized that we really are going.  Now.  And I still feel good about the decision, but I also feel a little disconnected from my life, from the past two years, from the current few weeks, and certainly from the coming months and years.  I'm sure this feeling will fade, and limbo never really was my best friend, but for now I feel decidedly unsettled.

J is even worse than I am: he has been full of big feelings these past few days.  On pack up day, we got home late after dinner out and a trip to the library and he went up the stairs ahead of me.  I found him sobbing in his room, crying "it's so empty!"  Then today, he realized he wouldn't be around for next week's library day at school and he dissolved again, wailing about missing everything if he left.  It is so confusing for him, and I am at a loss as to how to help beyond admitting the confusion and hugging, which is really not as helpful as I would hope to be.  I hope we can make it through these next two days of school in something resembling calm, but I'm not at all confident we will!